pretend like salsa
i have the most disconcerting ability to make people i care about cry. i'm really a terrible human being. and i'm feeling a little under the weather too. its really a pathetic thing how sick i am all the damn time. maybe mom has a point and i should make a concious effort to take better care of myself. but i don't know. i'm just hanging on for the ride right now..things are a little crazy and i can't really put my finger on why. my life is a storm.
there are a few things that are constant in this. jim is. my cello....perhaps. i dont' know anymore. i'm not improving. i have no focus when i practice, my energy is scattered. at least it still gives me joy to feel music in that way, loud and poignant. that much hasn't changed. and i am rediscovering my love for trumpet and for jazz...i actually feel an urge to practice it..and i haven't felt that urge for many years.
i need some encouragement. my own voice isn't enough.
posted by bartholdy's slave @ 14:29
4 Comments:
Jillian, you're sick. You have a get-out-of-moral-quandry free card. Now, you can either let yourself off the hook for making me cry (kidding ;D) or you can kick a random guy in the privates. I say this because my privates happen to be protected by 100 miles of sweet, sweet Michigan land.
or you know, i could just magically come to calvin and kick YOU in the privates...but i wouldn't do that AFTER making you cry. ;-)
***Big smiles for Jillian!!!!!***
:-D!!!!!
i'm sure you don't "make" people cry... they just cry a lot. or something. i cry a lot now. i cried in the counselor's office and she freaked out because she thought she'd said the wrong thing. but i just randomly started crying.
do what you want. if you wanna play jazz, play jazz. it'll make you feel better. i tend to run my life on impulse. so there's my input.
while you're playing jazz, you could delete the comments under the picture with me and eli in it now that he's one of your facebook friends. cuz i sort of would feel bad. hm. or i could, you know, just stop thinking about him altogether. my brain's not really accepting that at this point though.
<3
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