the quasi rules of attraction, or "every boyfriend i ever had is like a shoe"

these supposed rules are different for everyone. i mean, some people have these cuttouts in their brain, and they will only settle for a person exactly like that. others, like me, have never really dated any one of the same type, per say. lets see, first the band geek, then the shy kid, then the insensitive athlete, then the rock n'roll zombie. it is like i am trying on shoes or something, trying to find the exact right fit. and this fit doesn't neccessarily have to do with their 'type'. the band geek was too possessive for me, the shy kid too passive, insensitive athlete too insensitive, rock n'roll zombie was too possessive and manipulative. i am not saying that these aspects of these people are bad things, and i am really not trying to be insulting. but they just don't work for me. so there isn't anything i can do about it.

i mean, we're all supposed to find the right fit for ourselves, the one shoe that can take the miles, the wear and tear, the rain and snow and sleet and hail, and still be comfy and warm. why stick with a shoe that gives you blisters and cornes and makes your feet hurt? why put up with a shoe that falls apart after two weeks of wear? why deal with a shoe that pisses you off?

i have always envision my perfect guy to be like this one pair of shoes i had that i loved and lost- cobbies. they were the best shoes in the entire world. they were athletic shoes, but they weren't geeky athletic shoes, they were sleek and stylish. i could wear them with every single outfit i owned, and it didn't look stupid. they were warm and comfy, but they didn't strangle my feet. they didn't look like every other shoe in the school, they were independent and unique shoes. they weren't cheap, crappy shoes that fall apart prematurely, they were stiched well and made with care, and they lasted me 6 years before i lost them outside. they were good to my feet, and i never got a blister wearing them. they were intelligent shoes. they worked with everything i owned. i could wear them to school, playing sports, or going to church. they were perfect.

but you only find shoes like that once in a lifetime. the same with boys. lucky for me, i have not found a boy like that.
soundtrack from amelie