ingrid jensen- a chance to show off the mediocrity of this school

ingrid jensen is coming to mona shores to play her flugelhorn. she is playing with jazz I. she will most likely start laughing when she hears us and turn around and continue her world tour. i can't believe she is actually coming. she is my hero, one of the best female trumpet players in the world. so, i have to play solo after solo after solo and she will hear me and, oh i don't know, hit me over the head with her trumpet. well, she probably wouldn't do that to her trumpet so instead she will beat me with my own. i am doomed. i want to play well, because i know many people who are planning to come to this concert. this is a catastrophe! what am i going to do? i can't just stop sucking after a lifetime of sucking.

i am not going to think about this anymore. too much stress already exists in this twisted life of mine. i have to play my cello concerto on april 24th with the orchestra. it will really really suck. i don't even want to think about it. i don't i don't. so why am i? freak out.

the worst part about this whole thing is that i just don't have time to practice at all. i am trying to make my grades now, i am trying to get to michigan state money wise. i need a job, i need to get the IYSO quartet things in order, i need to practice the quartet stuff, i need to get birthday presents for two of my friends with birthdays coming around the corner. i need to get ready for graduation, i need to pay off my school fines, i need to lose weight for my prom dress, i need to get a date for prom, i need to not fail algebra II, i need get pictures taken for my gifts for my host families, i need to practice IYSO jazz combo stuff that my opi just sprung on me two days ago ( i CANNOT PLAY JAZZ PIANO! I HATE IT AND I SUCK!), i need to helpe my brother with his poetry portfolio, i need to help him with his grades.

sorry everyone for my a la carte platter of crap. i really am a retard.
i want to go practice cello right now.

on the other hand, this whole college thing is really exciting, in a way. it is all any senior talks about right now, or thinks about, except maybe for prom. i wish prom things were not on my list of i need to do's. but it will be fun, with friends, and others.

but after i get back from europe next summer, it is almost straight to michigan state. i am so excited i could die. COLLEGE! at last. after i get this pile of stuff out of my way, i am home free to college. probably more stress, but different stress. adult stress.