i've got the music in me...i got the music in me

today i had a lesson with uch, and i have to say this; it was a really good one. i came in really in a bad mood about being pretty much the only person having to work on technique and stuff. in my head i know it is for the best for me, but you still can't help being downtrodden when you feel so much music inside your soul and can't express it. that could be the worst pain in the world.

but uch just looked at me and said "i know it feels hard to play nothing but scales and etudes all day, but i'll tell you. the reason i am so persistant about your technique is because i see you wanting to play music so badly, and i want to give you the tools to really bring your audiences to your feet. and i have never been so persistant about this to any other of my students. because of your talent."

i was still raw about this, and not in the mood to be flattered. i say disheartedly "what IS talent? my whole life people tell me i'm SO talented, and i see nothing of it. i'm the worst cellist in this studio."

and he says "i'll tell you what talent is. it is someone playing the elgar cello concerto beautifully while having the worst technique i've ever seen. it is this inate sense of musicality i sense in you, that the other proffessors tell me about you. trust me"

i am still wowed about it.