such a weird day....

it was bitterly cold today. cold and dry, not any humidity at all. the best kind of cold. it cuts down to your very bones, to your core. it is strange, but i have always felt alive in the cold. warmth and humidity makes me feel dull and sluggish, but the cold charges my beating heart, sends my blood racing through my veins like an errant sled down an icy way. i can feel winter on the wings of the cold air. i can feel the snow and ice in my numb fingers.

strangely, i have always felt this way. when i was little and i lived in the country, miles away from any real city, i would walk outside during the winter. in the night, in the cold. the road was icy and the moon shone. it was almost like some inverse daylight, the way that moon shone, casting cold unfeeling shadows. i felt my breath alive in my chest, spinning, vital. my feet slipping and sliding and flying on that ice. running, landing in the snowbanks. staring at the skeletons of cornstalks, their shaddows on the perfectly untouched snow. the dark looming shapes of the trees swinging in the whistling wind. my breath coming out in slow nebulous clouds languidly spreading into the navy black openness. the way the stars felt, so close and yet so far away, an immaculate needlework of godly perfection.

i'd walk slowly home. i'd take off my coat, little hat, gloves, boots. i'd brush the snow off my nightshirt that came down to my knees. my legs would be pink and wet from the melted snow. my nose red and shiny, as if i was already plauged by that damnable acne. my dog max would greet me with a wagging tail, licking my face, sweet dog breath. i'd creep up the stairs, into my room. crawl under the covers. the warmth of my bed feels better after a walk in my wonderland.i have always loved the contrast of absoultes. the tension that they give is a dance, a simple joy that sings to my heart.