Terrific Thursday

yeah right. no really, it's been fun. did some hanging out with sarah and austin for lunch. i freaked out again and lost my money so sarah had to buy me some french fries. we went inside so as not to confuse them with 3 sepperate orders. too bad i am a complete moron. why am i retarded? well, you see, it has to do with a headache. i have one right now. ouch.

allow me to be cynical. i hate getting ready for college. it is causing my family way more stress than is neccessary for them. it is all my dad ever talks about now. because i was accepted into the cello studio at michigan state (with suren bagretuni, one of the best cellist internationally now) he wants me to go there but i don't have any money and neither does he. college just isn't in the budget. so he drills me on going to muskegon community and grand valley, and commuting places, and blah blah. i just feel bad. this is way more grief than is even neccessary. and then, what is the point? who knows. maybe i should just stay home and work, and forget stupid unneccessary dreams regarding cello. i'll get by.

god, sorry for that. a little rediculous. what happens happens. i will deal. i always do.

state solo and ensemble this weekend. for once, i am not really freaking out about it. state s+e seems like a joke compared to college auditions. now there is a nerve wringer. at michigan state i nearly passed out from anxiety. well, how would you feel auditioning in front of one of the best cello proffesors in the nation? good lord. it is not a walk in the park.

i don't know. maybe i should just become a musician monk. shave my head and practice all day. quit school. quit showers. quit eating. (well, maybe not that far.) that is how i have always envisioned college.

debussy string quartet in g minor